And They Call Me Weird
by Kyrseis
Summary: Because apparently there's no way to get a guy's attention like putting him through a wall... Post-Chapter 395. SasuSaku
1. And They Call Me Wierd

**And They Call Me Weird…**

**Rating: **T (Mild violence)

**Warnings: **Mildly OOC Naruto at parts, Karin bashing. Recent manga spoilers, I guess.

* * *

Well, it looks like I finally managed to do it- I finally managed to find Sasuke!

Okay, okay. So Hinata was the one to actually _find_ him, but hey, we can't all have long-distance sight. And, well, I'll admit it _did_ help that he was unconscious; which was largely Itachi's doing. But someone had to beat off his circus-freak team, right? Okay, so maybe four-eyes was the only one who really had a problem with it but...

Oh, I give up. The point is, Sasuke is here, right? Look, he's even in one piece.

That, I will also admit, is entirely Sakura's doing.

When we found him, he was barely alive and passed out on the ground next to his brother. Sakura totally started freaking out. Oh all right, it was _me_ who started freaking out, but I have to tell you, that place looked like Hell. I had no idea what exactly had gone on in this place, but judging from the state of things, I don't think I wanted to know. That's when I vaguely remember Sakura yelling something at me, snapping me out of my split-second freakout moment.

_"Naruto, you idiot! You're going to have to carry him!" _

Oh yeah, that's what she said. I remember now. You see, when Sakura uses that tone, I just do what I'm told. You try not doing what she says when she's that angry. I _dare _you. I remember four-eyes screaming something at me to the effect of "take your hands off my Sasuke-kun." I hated to break it to her, but even if I hadn't wanted to carry back my best friend myself, Sakura was scarier than she was. Period.

The big guy made the point that Sakura was the nearest medic ninja available, and they would have to work quickly if they wanted to save him. It amazed me how the guy with the pointy teeth could still make jokes with four-eyes when his team leader was passed out on the floor in a room torn down into shambles and coated with only God knows whose blood. Looking back, It seemed a little bit like the wrong time, but I wasn't about to say anything.

And so I carried off my best friend victoriously into the sunset just as I had always imagined.

Well, I guess it wasn't _exactly_ how I pictured it. I pictured a little more kicking and screaming...and maybe a little less dead weight. God, he was heavy.

And Sakura's been by his side ever since. He still hasn't woken up yet, and I'm pretty convinced she doesn't intend to leave him alone until he does. There are times when I've thought about giving her a light knock to the head just so she'll get some sleep, or at least stop long enough to recover some of the chakra she's pouring out on him like mad. Then I see her giving him that look, and I think better of it. You know, that look? The look that I came to terms with a long time ago that wasn't meant for me? That look on her face that she would only get when she looked at him. That's usually when I wanted to punch him instead, but as he was barely alive a little less than twenty-four hours ago, it didn't exactly seem like the smart thing to do. I'll just settle for sitting here, silently calling you a bastard for ignoring Sakura-chan's feelings. I'll kick the crap out of you when we get home, bastard.

"Oh, I can't wait until Sasuke-kun wakes up so we can get the hell out of here." Her though- her I probably _will_ punch before this is all over. I'm would be surprised that Sakura hasn't done it for me yet if she wasn't still hovered over Sasuke, sweat pouring down over her face, chakra flowing from her hands, and that look in her eyes. She seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that her hair is all tangled and hastily tossed up and her face is covered in sweat. Really, she looks like a mess.

But of course, I'm not going to _tell _her this. They may call me stupid, but I'm not _that_ stupid.

"Oi, Sakura-chan? How is it going?"

"Naruto, let her concentrate." It was captain Yamato. He's right, of course, but it's just not like me to sit here and stare. I briefly wonder if Sasuke would wake up faster if there weren't so many damn people crowding the room before a leg hits me on its way past. Then I wonder how I managed to accidentaly touch Hinata without her turning red and ending up on the floor. I'm not entirely sure why, but that seems to be what always happens every time I violate her personal space bubble. I make a memo to myself to make sure she is balancing a few cups of water, like the one that she is setting beside Sakura, before I try to talk to her again, as that seems to be a great way to keep it from happening. When she heads back to the edge of the room again, she holds out a cup of water to me as well.

"H-here, Naruto-kun..."

Her face is beet red. So much for that idea. Although she's still not on the floor, so perhaps we're making some progress. Or maybe we're not making any progress at all, depending on how you look at it.

Oh I just _know_ Sakura would have slapped me for that. Or worse. Probably worse.

All of the sudden, Sakura sits back and stops with the glowy healing jutsu. That could only mean one thing.

Oh, I had to be there for this. I was on the other side of Sasuke before you could say "ramen".

Not that I couldn't totally go for some ramen right now, but that's a little off the point.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he did was look at me and groan. Well, nice to see you too, bastard. "You finally did it, teme." I said instead. Hey, it was a little nicer.

"Hn. Yeah." Heh, classic Sasuke. Whatever happened to 'gee, guys, thanks for saving my life back there'? Oh, and here's a novel idea, why don't you thank Sakura for sitting by your ass for almost a full day so you can actually sit up like your doing. Yeah, those wounds your looking for- totally not there anymore. You can stop looking for them anytime now. Seriously, Sasuke, why do you look so confused that you're healed?

Do I seriously have to spell it out for you? So much for genius ninja. And they say _I'm _the idiot.

"Sakura healed you, idiot. You would probably be dead if she hadn't come along. Pretty lucky, huh?"

"Sa...ku...ra?" No, dumbass, four-eyes. Because she's _clearly_ useful for something besides stalking people. Of _course_ it was Sakura. You act like you haven't seen her kicking ass and taking names for the past three years.

Oh, wait... whoops. I guess you haven't.

That's about when we both turn to look at our pink-haired compadre. I'm half expecting her to be bawling her eyes out or something. I mean hey, the dramatic reunion is upon us, right? So why am I not seeing her fling her arms around the idiot's neck and bawl her eyes out? She's just sitting there with a quiet contented smile on her face. Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a little confused.

"You...healed me?" He asked. Perfect, he doesn't believe me. Having a hard time believing she's actually useful for something now, Sasuke? Surprise!

There is the oddest expression- well as close to facial expressions as you get with Sasuke- across his face. Something tells me he was anticipating the pouncing and the crying too, and he's absolutely baffled that it hasn't come. He's utterly confused that she continues to sit there and smile at him and probably even more confused that Haruno Sakura could have healed all of his injuries in such a short time. I love it. It's great.

"Sakura...thank you"

_SLAM!_

Okay...now I'm _REALLY _confused.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've seen Sakura-chan's mood shift a lot over the years, and she can instantly change moods like nothing else I've ever seen before. But this time? There wasn't even two whole seconds between "thank you" and Sasuke hitting the wall. Where I come from, you don't send someone flying across the room- and consequentially into the wall- for saying 'thank you'. And boy did Sasuke _fly_! Apparently Sakura had a little more chakra left over than I thought. Did I miss something?

"You're welcome, Idiot." She dusted off her hands and flashed him that sweet smile again before turning around and walking towards the door.

I give up. Memo to self: do not, under any circumstances, say 'thank you' to Sakura-chan.

I decided it would be best if I were the one to help Sasuke out of the wall- well, at least what was left of the wall after he hit it. Honestly, looking at the chunks of wall he was brushing off his skin and out of his hair, I was surprised he was still conscious, let alone able to stand. Honestly, It didn't even seem like he _needed_ help to stand, but as Sai was already heading there, I decided it would probably be for the best that I head him off. The last thing we needed at the moment was a penis joke. I mean really- this was just not the time.

"You okay, bastard?! She didn't go all out, but she railed you pretty hard."

"Hn. I deserved that." He stated flatly.

See, at that moment, I don't know what freaked me out more. I could look around the room and see everyone either smiling or, like Kakashi-sensei, busting up laughing, at the sight of Sakura super-punching the Uchiha prodigy.

Or I could look at the bastard's face and see a really strange look in his eyes. I mean a _really _weird look. Like, it probably ranks up there with the weird looks that Neji shoots at Tenten when she's got her back turn- wait a second...

Oh _Hell_ no. You _can't _be serious.

So let me get this straight. Sakura-chan spends half her life devoted to Sasuke-teme who never gives her the time of the day and even has the nerve to call her annoying. Three years later, when she finally _does _find him, she knocks the shit out of him...and he thinks it's...

...sexy?!

Well apparently there's no way to get the bastard's attention like putting him through a wall!

"WHAAAAAAAT?!" I just stared at him, and I'm pretty sure if my jaw _could _have hit the floor, it would have already been there. "You!" I flailed and pointed an accusing finger at him, "and _you!_" I made an overly-dramatic gesture somewhere in the general direction where Sakura had strolled off to.

"I don't EVER want to hear that _I'm _the weird one on this team again!"

* * *

Quite honestly, I hate it. This is just one of my ideas that was great in my head, but didn't quite translate well into text. I just needed to finish it so I could concentrate on other things. However, that's my opinion for you. If you happened to like it, then I'm glad.

Please don't flame me and tell me how much of a jerk you think I am for Karin bashing. 1) I don't care. 2) You were clearly warned before you started reading. 3) I don't hate Karin because she is an obstacle to Sasusaku. I hate Karin because she's just annoying and other than her ability to sense chakra, contributes nothing. If it makes you feel any better, I disliked Sakura for most of the pre-Shippuden anime/manga for the same reasons.

Don't fame me just to tell me how much you hate Sasusaku either. That's just immature. If you like Narusaku better, more power to you. Just let me have my fun, yes?

If you have something to say about my writing though- please let me know. Same thing goes for if you actually enjoyed this. I'd love to hear both! :D


	2. And you Called Me Annoying

I'm sorry. I had to. I know I said it was complete. I lied. The prospect of doing the same story from Sakura's point of view was just too tempting. So I'll warn you now that this is the exact same story as before, just from Sakura's mind and not Naruto's. I don't really expect it to be as funny, but it's hopefully still amusing.

* * *

**Chapter Two: "And You Called **_**Me **_**Annoying..."**

**Rating: **T (Mild violence, language, and a few suggestive remarks. Nothing really different from part I.)

**Warnings: **Mild OOC, because we know that when they DO find him again, Sakura probably WILL cry. More Karin bashing. Same ol' possible spoilers. Joking sasunaru references.

* * *

I would like many things to be known to many people. This is one of them:

Hyuuga Hinata, when she wants to be, is ridiculously fast.

Like, for instance, there are times when she walks into a hospital room to bring something to Naruto and accidently comes nose to nose with said object of affection. Although I feel sorry for her most of the time, It's pretty funny to watch her turn heel and bolt in the other direction. Or there's just about any time she hears Ino mutter the word "makeover". My point being, Hinata can run absurdly quickly when she needs to.

Now, I'm not saying I'm not pleased that she understands the fact that Sasuke probably needs medical attention as soon as possible. I'm just saying that it's awfully hard to keep up with her when she runs that fast.

And when she's the only one who knows where we're going, that's _kind of_ important.

Nevertheless, we found him in time. And while I permitted Naruto to have his _omgSasukealmostdied _moment, I played hide and seek with his vital signs. Now, I'm not saying I wasn't freaking out on the inside. Hell, my mind was having a field day with Naruto. I mean really. But you see, there's one difference in between Naruto and I in these types of situations.

I learned a magical little trick called _multitasking_. Apparently Naruto hasn't discovered this yet, or I wouldn't have to yell at him all the damn time!

Well let's see, I could wait for him to come to his senses...no, no that won't work. Sasuke will bleed to death before that happens. Although it made for the fierce determination that I've grown to adore, that one-track mind makes me want to strangle him sometimes.

"Naruto, you idiot!" Quit gawking! He's not dead _yet! _"You're going to have to carry him!"

Honestly, do you _really_ expect me to have the chakra to carry him back myself _and_ heal him?

And if you start with the super-strength crap again, I will destroy you. Does this glare get that picture across? Go ahead, defy me. See what happens. But yet I heard this red-haired girl shout at him something about not touching _her_ Sasuke-kun. Oh no. You did not. No, no Sakura, this is not the time for that. Save Sasuke now, beat the bitch up later. Yes. This is a good plan. I shoot Naruto another look just in case he may have found the other girl more intimidating.

Good boy.

This really tall guy that Sasuke-kun had apparently be traveling with told the other two that their leader was going to need a medic ninja, and that I looked fairly competent. You know, I like you. How on earth did you get stuck with these two?

Although, I'm not going to lie...the one with the white-ish hair _is_ kind of cute. Oh for God's sake...this is _so_ not the time!

And so I walked behind my best friend as he carried the unconscious love of my life over his shoulder into the sunset.

Wow...doesn't _that_ just sound like bad yaoi? Well, I suppose a bad yaoi would have dramatic music. Either way, this moment is not really how I always pictured it in my head. But I suppose as long as I don't walk in on Naruto and Sasuke-kun making out passionately on the floor later, I can deal with it. Now maybe if it were _Sai _and Sasuke-kun...

...God, I love multitasking.

Well, I haven't left Sasuke-kun's side since we put him on this floor. Although I wish some of the other people had- it's way too crowded in here! Either way, I'm not about to leave Sasuke-kun until he's woken up. If for no other reason than somebody had to be here to beat off big red when he opened his eyes. I kinda wish he wouldn't though- he looks all cute when he's unconscious! Although, so do tigers, so I suppose that doesn't really say much, now does it?

I must have been looking at Sasuke weird, because Naruto's giving me that look. You know, the "do I have to go over there and kill me an Uchiha?!" look? Aww, you're so sweet Naruto, but no thanks. I'll do it when he's awake. It's much more satisfying that way. I vaguely recall some complaint from the red-haired girl, but at the moment I had more important things on my mind than to listen to her whine. Though if you want to kill her, Naruto, by all means- have at it.

"Oi, Sakura-chan? How is it going?" No, Naruto. I said punch the bitch, not make small talk. Though If you just feel _led_ to make small talk, you may do it _while_ you punch.

"Naruto, Let her concentrate." I always knew I liked you, Captain Yamato. Even if you do scare the blazes out of me.

I look up from Sasuke for a moment to see Hinata hovering over me with several cups of water. You have now been named my best friend for at least the next five minutes, and as such, I'm going to help you out. You see that other cup of water in your hand? Yes, that one. You're going to walk over and hand it to Naruto without fainting, do you understand? I don't need to treat another unconscious person. If you're on the floor, it better be with Naruto on top of you.

Hah. Like Naruto would ever have thoughts like that. Absurd. Although I haven't heard her hit the floor yet, so maybe it's not a total loss?

Sasuke-kun's eyelids flutter briefly and It's all I can do to keep from yelling 'it's about freaking time!' at him. All I do then is lace my fingers together and keep a calm expression while Naruto comes bounding up like someone just offered him ramen.

I heard an irritated groan as Sasuke-kun opened his eyes and looked at Naruto. That's okay, you just keep looking that way. Don't notice that I'm here. Pay no mind to the fact that you'd be dead without me. See if I care. No, no, Sakura. All in good time. Just keep smiling.

"You did it, Teme"

"Hn. Yeah." You see, this is when I have to keep from busting out laughing. Sasuke, darling, your injuries aren't there anymore. Yeah, that's right, I got rid of them. Okay, it's not funny anymore. Stop looking.

How hard _did_ Itachi hit you on the head?

"Sakura healed you, idiot. You would probably be dead if she hadn't come along. Pretty lucky, huh?" See, this is why I keep you around. Well, other than the whole 'best friend' thing. Details, details.

"Sa..ku..ra?" I almost broke my smile and gaped at him. Have you gone st..u..pid?!

"You...healed me?" Yes, yes you have gone stupid. Either that or you genuinely cannot believe that I've actually become useful. I prefer the first. It's so much easier not to hit you if I pretend it's the first.

Now, if you hadn't known Sasuke-kun for as long as we have, you would have missed it, but the expression in his eyes is priceless. What were you expecting, dear Sasuke? Tears? Me to throw myself in your arms and spew adolescent declarations of eternal devotion?

Right, because _that's_ worked in the past. Do I _look_ thirteen years old to you?

"Sakura..."

Oh no... He's not going to...

"...thank you."

...say it.

_SLAM!_

You know, looking back at it, I _was_ planning on waiting until we got back to Konoha to send him flying. But you know? This was just as good. Almost as good as the look on Naruto's face when he went through the wall, which, by the way, was priceless.

Shannaro, bitch. "You're welcome, Idiot." I thought the latter was a little more appropriate...at least for the audience.

That look of confusion in his eyes just got better as he looked up at me from what used to be the completing unit in a set of four walls. I imagined if he was capable of talking he would say something along the lines of "what the _hell_ was that?". I just smile sweetly at him, sincerely this time, for as much as I hate him at the moment, I still ultimately love him at the end of the day. It's like some sort of infectious disease. I'm left pondering that as I walk out the door.

Oh I'm sure there's a penis joke in here somewhere. Where is Sai when you need him?

In the next room, I see that Hinata was thoughtful enough to set out a bed roll for me and waste no time in plopping on top of it with my eyes closed.

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!"

Hmm? Not now, Naruto. It's time to sleep. There are _still_ three walls left for you.

"I don't EVER want to hear that _I'm _the weird one on this team again."

...the _hell_ was that about?

* * *

I have one more chapter written from Sasuke's point of view. I may or may not post it, as it's not really as funny as the other two, and not nearly as long. We'll see.

The first person to tell me that the yaoi fangirl moment was out of character gets bonked on the head. Sakura is the original SasuSai fangirl. That one manga chapter totally proved it.


	3. And They Say I Have Anger Issues

The third and final side to the story! Obviously going to be substantially shorter as Sasuke is only actually concious for the last part.

**Part 3: And They Say I have Anger Issues**

**Rating: **T (Violence, language, ect.)

**Warnings: **(Standard warnings apply. Slightly OOC Sasuke, because, well, you try writing something humorous from Sasuke's point of view and keep it in Character. If you can, I'll give you a cookie.)

* * *

You know that feeling you get when you wake up in a strange place and you have no idea where you are? See, I didn't.

At least until today. And let me tell you, out of all the faces to wake up to, Naruto's was not the one I would have chosen. I think I would have preferred Sakura.

...She was here too, wasn't she? Well, hell...

I closed my eyes and groaned. Tell me this is a nightmare. This is a nightmare right? I opened my eyes again to check. Nope. He's still there. Not a nightmare.

"You did it, teme" He's still calling me bastard? I know they say that some people never change, but seriously. Hey, wait. I _did_ do it, didn't I? I'm assuming I did anyway. The last thing I remember was Itachi hitting the ground _looking_ pretty dead. Yeah, not going to lie, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself before I...

...aw hell...I hit the ground too, didn't I?

Well don't look at me like that. I may have been far superior, but Itachi was no wuss. No, I am superior, don't give me that. Shut up. Nobody asked you.

"Hn. Yeah." Nice to see you too, dobe. As soon as I can move again, remind me to wipe that cheerful smirk right off your face. It's far too early for that. I am an Uchiha, I'm just not equipped to handle that level of happy. Wait a second. I _can_ move? ...the _hell? _I may be far superior, but those injuries that I sustained during my last fight should have had me laid up for a week at least. So somebody care to tell me where they've gone off to? I'm poking at my arms, my torso, anything that's exposed wondering why the hell I wasn't even _scratched _anywhere.

That's it! I've got it! I'm dead. I have to be. It's a perfectly rational explanation for why I am completely unscathed.

Plus, when you wake up with Naruto's face over yours, you know that you must be in some deep circle of hell.

They're both looking at me with expressions that are really familiar to me. Naruto's giving me the "have you gone stupid?" look, and Sakura's giving me the look that just screams "I'm not amused. You can stop what you're doing at any time now". I wonder why these expressions seem so familiar to me. Oh right. I used to give them the same expressions.

You know...irony sure can be a bitch sometimes.

"Sakura healed you, idiot. You would probably be dead if she hadn't come along. Pretty lucky, huh?" Ahahahahaha, oh that's funny. That's hillarious. Really, you can't see it, but I'm laughing inside. For a second there I thought you just insinuated that she was useful for something.

Besides, I _am_ dead. In case you morons have missed that fract.

"Sa..ku..ra?" No, really, it's rich. It really is. Next thing you're going to say is that you carried me off over your shoulder onto the sunset while she was having wild fantasies about me and my pansy replacement passionately making out on the floor.

Okay dobe, I got the joke, so why aren't you laughing with me?

...Naruto?

Oh God. You're serious.

"You...healed me?" For the first time since I've woken up, I look at her. No, I mean I _really_ looked at her. Oh yes, I see that smile in your sparkling- er- perfectly plain green eyes, but I know it's just a facade. So go ahead, start with the tears. Go ahead. It's okay. I'm in an usually non-rancid mood right now so I'll tell you what. You can even crawl in my lap if you want.

I had planned to take a break in between the avenging and the reviving, but I suppose I can end the hiatus if you want to pour out your heart to me right now.

...Any time now, Sakura.

Why are you still smiling at me? Commense with the hugging and the crying.

...Sakura?

I looked her in the eyes again. Well, I guess I should show her some sort of appreciation. Maybe then she'd pounce. Wait a second. Somebody want to tell me why all of the sudden I'm so keen on my former team mate jumping into my lap? Maybe there's a brain injury that she hasn't been able to treat. That must be it. So while you're in my lap you can take a look at my head. Oh come on, are you _really _going to make me say it?

So it seems.

"Sakura...thank you."

You know, in a moment like this I know I should be thinking something along the lines of "what the _hell_ did I do to deserve _this?" _but as my back suddenly made contact with the wall behind me, all that I could think was " who are you and what have you done with Sakura?!"

No, wait. Sakura's always had anger management issues. But seriously?

Then came the pain. Oh and there was lots of it. Lots and lots of pain.

Naruto's got this real funny look on his face. I've seen his "what the hell just happened" face before, but I looks like this time he's just absolutely speechless. Sakura, you made Naruto shut up. You must teach me this technique.

"You're welcome, Idiot." I hear her say as I watch her walk out the door. Oh that's _so _not what you're actually thinking. Don't you give me that. What did I ever really do to you?

Well...there was the whole calling you annoying thing...and there was me calling you useless. And there was the time where I punched you and left you alone on that bench after saying Thank yo-...

Oh.

Great. All I need now is that pansy replacement of mine to make some sort of joke about my pe-

No. I will not go there. I'm suspicious of this guy as it is.

"You okay, bastard?!" Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just thought the room needed another walk-through window, that's all. "She didn't go all out, but she railed you pretty hard!"

"Hn. I deserved that." Hey, at least I'm honest. Wait, did you just tell me she went _easy_ on me? What do you _mean_ she just went easy on me? She knocked me through the _wall_ for God's sake!

Holy _shit._ Sakura, I have a new question for you.

Have my babies?

Oh no. That look, on Naruto's face. He's about to...

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!"

...yell.

"I don't EVER want to hear that _I'm _the weird one on this team again!"

Duly noted, dobe. But you're about to be the single one. Heh.

* * *

Fin. See, I figure since Sasuke never talks, he's just _got_ to have a lot going on in his head instead.

And seriously- only Sasuke would think it sexy to be put through a wall.

Thanks for reading! :D


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